It matters not how many Babies come into your life – one or many – there comes a time when the last one leaves. If you have done your job, they will desire to break away and create a life of their own – unless they are Forever Babies. Separation is inevitable.
Our parent brains don’t really contend with the last Baby-launch until it happens. We think we know. We talk about it. When children are small and medium we don’t think about it much but when we do picture the launch, it is only in the most idyllic terms. That changes to a near constant thought and planning process when they are adolescents and prayers for survival until the launch actually happens. When that final farewell comes, however, it is always challenging. An era has ended. Your life has changed and the functions that have been so necessary to their survival, are no longer essential. They love you, but they don’t need you – not for the things that they did formerly. You are left with You.
Now sometimes the wave goodbye is not an extreme separation. Perhaps the Baby has been in college, coming home for summers. Baby still needs some financial and emotional support – especially during love, loss and research papers. These are the warm-up launches.
But, the final wave is final. Perhaps it is as they go off with their new wife or husband. Perhaps it is to their first “real” job and home – marking their physical independence from parents. When it happens, you know. Baby is now Adult Baby. And there are no more behind her. If you are fortunate like me, you had a bunch and some of them have given you Grand babies to fill empty arms.
You are left with a situation – decisions. It is not like you can skip backwards and just pick up your life where you left it at the moment of their birth. You are changed because you have had – and still have Babies. What do you do with your life now? Where are those threads, loose ends, in your personal life canvas that may need picking up and weaving in? What does your heart say?
More later after I figure it out